I think the "self-love" that Thomas is talking about would be better understood as "attachment to the self". In a real sense we are setting ourselves up for pain by becoming overly attached to our life, our possessions, our career - even our own bodies. These things will all pass away...
Loving yourself, as in caring, tenderness and attentiveness - is a key to truly loving others. I think many of us will struggle to really love others (without agenda) until we have learned to love ourselves.
Real love does not attach, cling or seek to control. I think we often "love" people in the same way we "love" ourselves... with great attachment - which makes freedom in life and relationship difficult to find!
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